


Reverse undertakers underground

by MrFanficFinatic



Category: Wooden Overcoats (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angry birds is brought into this for some reason?, Cuddling & Snuggling, Huddling For Warmth, I literally just wanted them to cuddle, I’m sorry (I’m not actually sorry), M/M, Oblivious Rudyard, Sharing Body Heat, chapman tries to bond with people as a coping mechanism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:15:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21678859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrFanficFinatic/pseuds/MrFanficFinatic
Summary: What if Rudyard was the one who got trapped in the mines with Chapman?This question would not stop haunting me, so this exists, and I shouldn’t be the only one burdened with that knowledge.
Relationships: Eric Chapman/Rudyard Funn
Comments: 9
Kudos: 113





	Reverse undertakers underground

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone worried, Antigone still has her heart to heart about bijou, but with Georgie. Also Georgie takes Antigone to the circus to see bijou.  
> Honestly, I kinda felt like Chapman might have been planing to get Antigone to join him for selfish reasons, we all knew he wasn’t romantically interested in her.

Rudyard opened his eyes and and saw nothing. if there was anything worth seeing, he couldn’t tell you, because there was no light whatsoever.

“Oh, great. Let me guess, it’s the coffin dream again.” He sighed and waited for the inevitable.

“Hello, rudyard.” Came the expected reply, though far less cheerful this time.

“Ah, Chapman. as expected.” Rudyard turned his head towards Chapman’s voice, but couldn’t quite place where he was, and that echo certainly wasn’t helping. Why was there an echo? Coffins didn’t usually echo, at least not in his experience, but this is a dream after all.

“Was this part of the plan then? Trap me underground and steal my business? Really rudyard, I didn’t think you’d sink this low, but I can’t say I’m surprised you screwed up and trapped yourself as well.”

“Well you’re certainly less chipper than usual.” Rudyard sat up, and was then surprised he was able to do so. He felt the cold ground under him and it all came rushing back.

“Of bloody course I’m less chipper than usual rudyard! You’ve buried us both alive!”

“Don’t blame me! For once I’m mostly innocent, this was all Jerry’s idea!” Rudyard searched his pockets for anything he could use for light, but only found a paper clip and some pocket lint.

“He pretended to be my friend and then tricked me into buying the materials he used to build the bomb.”

“So you weren’t in on this? Dose that mean you meant what you said when you told jerry that if he wanted to kill me then he’d have to go through you first?”

Rudyard sighed and tried feeling the wall for any weak spots,  
“Hardly matters now, does it? From what I can tell he’s killed two birds with one stone, or, given our current situation, two funeral directors with one bomb.”

“Hardly the time for jokes Rudyard. Aha, there we go!”  
Chapman pointed a light around the cave.

“What’s that light coming from?” Rudyard shifted slightly closer for a better look.

“My cell phone. Dose yours not have one?”

“I don’t have a cell phone.”

“Oh.”

Several seconds of awkward silence followed.  
Rudyard fiddled with the paper clip, then scratched a few shapes into the ground.  
“Fancy a game of tic tac toe rudyard?”

“Why? So you can be better than me at that to? No thanks chapman, I think I’ll pass.”

“Well we’ve got to pass the time somehow don’t we? You don’t plan to sit here in the dark doing absolutely nothing do you?”

“As a matter of fact I do. Now, if you would be so kind as to keep quiet so I can die in peace, that would be wonderful.”

“We’re not going to die rudyard, I’m sure they’re doing their best to get us out. Though I do hope they get to us before nightfall, otherwise we’ll have to huddle together to conserve body heat.”

Rudyard scratched the ground harder, nearly mangling his paper clip.  
“I refuse to ‘huddle’ with anyone! Especially you Chapman! I’d sooner freeze to death!”

“Going by the looks of things, you might just.”

“At least I’ll still have my dignity.”

“Rudyard, when have you ever cared about your ‘dignity’, hell I’d be surprised if you knew what shame was.” Chapman shinned his light towards a pile of rubble and they both froze.

“Is that-“

“It would appear to be, yes.”

“Jerry. He’s dead.”

“Getting crushed under tons of rubble tends to do that, rudyard.”

“My only friend.”

“And a psychopathic killer.”

“That to, yes.”

“Listen, I’m … I’m sorry rudyard. He may have tried to murder me, but I understand how hard it can be to lose a friend like that.”

Rudyard looked over to chapman,  
“you’ve had a friend die in a cave in caused by their own bomb?”

“No, it was an accident involving a very large laser.”

“Of course, let me guess, it happened a long time ago?”  
Rudyard resumed scratching at the ground with his paper clip, anything to avoid looking at Jerry’s limp arm jutting out of the rubble.

Chapman was silent for a while, watching Rudyard’s attempts to etch lord knows what on the cave floor.  
“Do you think there are bats down here? Or were, I suppose the cave in would have scared them off.”  
Rudyard didn’t respond.  
“Not that I’m bothered by bats, I’m just, you know, making conversation.”  
Still no response.  
“My phone battery might not last much longer.”

Rudyard threw his paper clip down in a huff,  
“Well then what good is it? I swear, modern technology is completely useless!”  
He crossed his arms and scowled at the cave wall opposite him.

“Well, under normal circumstances I could use my phone to call or text, or even play games.”

Rudyard turned his head to scowl at Chapman,  
“What sorts of games? Does it have boggle?”

Chapman perked up,  
“Well, they have all sorts of games in the App Store, but I don’t think I Can download anything while we’re down here. I do have angry birds.”

“I’ve never heard of ‘angry birds’, and it sounds like just as much of a waste of time as those ‘social media apps’ Georgie spends so much time on instead of working.”

Chapman fiddled with his phone and then held it out to rudyard,  
“Here, why don’t you give it a try?”

Rudyard stared down at the offered phone,  
“What makes you think I have any interest in your cellular games?”

Chapman inched ever so slightly closer,  
“What’s wrong rudyard, afraid you can’t beat my high score?”

Rudyard snatched the phone out of Chapman’s hands, the game looked like a cartoon, how difficult could it be?  
He started at the beginning, it seemed simple enough, and he could easily agree with the birds anger, then the levels became increasingly difficult, he became so focused that he didn’t realize Chapman had moved to sit beside him and was watching his progress.

“Wow, you’re pretty good at this game rudyard.”

Rudyard didn’t look up from the game,  
“Obviously, it’s clearly meant for children. Not surprised you enjoy it though.”  
He completed the level, and moved on to the next.  
Eventually the battery began to run low, and rudyard was about to move to hand the phone back to Chapman, but when he looked to where he thought Chapman was, no one was there.

“Oh, are you done?”

Rudyard jumped and all but shrieked, when had Chapman moved so close to him! Why hadn’t he noticed!  
He turned to him and glared, and was about to hand the phone back, when suddenly the light went out causing him to jump for the second time, next thing he knew he was being EMBRACED by Chapman!  
It was in that moment that rudyard decided that god officially hated him, what other explanation could there be?  
He tried to wiggle free, but Chapman was strong.

“Chapman! Release me this instant!” He struggled in vain to break free.

Chapman seemed to come back to himself, letting go of rudyard but not backing away.  
“Sorry, I’m… I’ve,” he took a breath, “I’m… afraid, of the dark.” He finished, at bit pathetically.

Rudyard looked to where he thought Chapman might be,  
“You!? Eric Chapman!? You’re afraid of the dark?! I don’t buy it! You must be trying to trick me.”

“Why would I? What would I gain?”

“I don’t know, but it must be something. Maybe you think I’ll take pity on you and reveal my trade secrets!?”

“Rudyard, that’s ridiculous, why would that help my fear?”

“Your guess is as good as mine, but I can assure you, I won’t tell you anything!”  
Chapman sighed and shifted around, rudyard tried to figure out what exactly he was doing, planning something else? Most likely. He’d have to be on guard for any more schemes.  
He was beginning to wonder if they ever would get out of this cave when he felt something brush up his hand.

“Chapman, why are you holding my hand?”

“I, uh” he didn’t pull his hand away, “I’m just making sure I can tell where you are, it’s very dark in case you haven’t noticed.”

Rudyard thought about it, he had a point, and this way he’d be able to keep tabs on Chapman in someway.  
“Fine, but no more talking.”

They sat in silence for a while, Chapman had been right earlier, it was getting colder, but rudyard stubbornly refused to show any sign the creeping chill was affecting him, Chapman didn’t seem at all affected, and he wasn’t going to let Chapman think he was weak.  
Chapman’s hand was very warm on top of his though, was the rest of him that warm? Rudyard wished he’d worn his nicer sweater, it had less moth holes.  
It must have been getting late, or the events of the day were finally catching up to him, but it was definitely to chilly to sleep properly, still, he’d somehow managed a light doze when a shiver woke him.  
He slowly became aware that it wasn’t his shiver that had woke him, and that Chapman had moved closer at some point and was now pressed shoulder to hip to him, but rudyard was to tired and Chapman was warm for him to care. The shivering thing was a little annoying though.

“Chapman,” he whispered, “Chapman stop shivering.”

“Rudyard it’s cold,” Chapman spoke drowsily, “I’m cold, I’m going to shiver.”

“Well stop being cold then! I’m trying to sleep.”

“So am I. Look, it’s late, the rescue team probably won’t be able to get to us until morning, we’re both cold and tired-“

“What’s your point?” Rudyard interrupted, he was tired and Chapman’s voice was annoying.

“My point is, we need to huddle for warmth.”

“Absolutely not!” Rudyard leaned away from Chapman, and regretted it instantly, the frigid air quickly replacing what warmth he had left, and he was to tired to hide his shivering.

“See? I’m fairly certain that if the temperature keeps dropping like this and we don’t huddle, we might actually freeze to death. Rudyard, I won’t tell anyone, your pride isn’t the most important thing at stake here.”

He placed his (warm, oh so warm) hand on rudyard’s shoulder.  
Rudyard clenched his teeth,  
“Fine. But only if we never speak of this again.” He shifted slightly, “how do we do this?”

“Come here.” Chapman pulled him down, when had he laid down?, and pressed his chest to Rudyard’s back, wrapping his arms around him.

Rudyard wasn’t sure how to react, this was the first time he’d ever had physical contact like this, it was, nice? It was definitely warm, but now his heart was beating way to fast, and his muscles were tensed.

“Rudyard, you’re going to be a lot more comfortable if you relax, I’ve had to do this sort of thing before in survival training. Trust me, anyone else in our position would do the same.”

“I’m trying to relax Chapman, I’m not a very relaxed person!” Rudyard grumbled.

Chapman shifted the arm he had draped over Rudyard’s chest then hesitated, “can I try something?”

Rudyard opened his mouth to say something sarcastic, but then remembered he was basically cuddling the man, may as well hear him out, with the way his days been going.  
“Sure, why not?”  
He definitely wasn’t expecting Chapman to begin running his fingers through his hair, but well, it’s just been that sort of day hasn’t it? And loathe as he did to admit it, the effect was rather soothing.  
Chapman, for his part, at least knew not to comment on it.  
Much sooner than he’d ever admit, his muscles relaxed, and his eyes began to close, and he was finally asleep.

A sound woke him what felt like hours later. He felt remarkably well rested, this must have been why people sought out this physical contact thing, it could be quite beneficial.  
He heard the sound again, slightly louder this time.  
He went to sit up but Chapman’s arms were still around him, and he was pulled even closer to Chapman’s chest.  
“Chapman.” He whispered harshly as he wiggled himself around so he was face to face with the sleeping man, “Chapman wake up.” He swatted his shoulder. Chapman grumbled and cuddled closer, pressing his face into rudyard’s neck.  
“Eric,” Rudyard said in frustration, “I heard something, I think they’re digging us out.”

Chapman leaned his head back slightly “did you just call me Eric? Is this a dream?”

“Chapman if you don’t wake up and release me I will slap you awake.”

Chapman eventually loosened his grip, then sat up, leaving rudyard to sit up as well.  
“Right, sorry.” He shifted awkwardly, “how did you sleep?”

“Shhhh! Do you hear it?”  
They both listed, the sound was definitely louder now.

“They’re digging us out.” Chapman said as he grabbed rudyard’s hand and helped him stand up. “Come this way, we don’t want to be standing where any rocks might fall.”  
He lead rudyard to the farthest wall in the cave and they both stared at where the sounds were coming from.

“Rudyard! Chapman!”  
It’s was Georgie! They were finally saved! Rudyard was nearly crying with relief!  
Georgie finally broke through enough for them to climb out through the hole she’d made, she stepped back looking quite proud of her digging skills.

“I’m great at rescuing people from collapsed mine shafts.” She helped rudyard climb out, “good to see you in one piece.”

Rudyard tried to brush some of the dust off his pants, “that’s the ideal.”

Georgie turned and began leading them out of the mines to where everyone else was, and surprising absolutely no one, everyone except Antigone flocked to Chapman.

“Rudyard,” Antigone paused, having trouble physically saying what she was about to, “I’m glad you’re ok.”

Georgie softy elbowed him in the side, “we both are.”

Rudyard glanced over to where Chapman was, and found that Chapman was already looking at him. He looked back to Antigone and Georgie. “Let’s go home.”

**Author's Note:**

> Might continue this and write Rudyard and Chapman finally actually getting together.


End file.
